


Tag, You're It

by MistressPhantomhive



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Romance, Smut, Violence, not spoiler free, possible gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressPhantomhive/pseuds/MistressPhantomhive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running through the parking lot<br/>He chased me and he wouldn't stop<br/>Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it<br/>Grabbed my hand, pushed me down<br/>Took the words right out my mouth<br/>Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it</p><p>A Tsukiyama x Kaneki fanfic for a contest on Mibba.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This is not spoiler free. 
> 
> With this being said, if you are not really caught up with :re until the Rose Investigation Arc, then you probably shouldn't dwell too far into this story. That being said, there are characters and/or events that are mentioned in Tokyo Ghoul and :re that are crucial to this story itself. 
> 
> You have been warned.

I was forced to watch the younger male from a distance. Yes, I had already attempted to eat him twice and was still recovering from the injuries I had gained when fighting Touka-chan, but I couldn't stay away. There was something else besides his human-like scent that was drawing me to him; something that caused my heart to beat quickly and my chest to hurt whenever I was away.  
  
I glanced down at my watch, knowing that Kaneki would be leaving Anteiku to head home soon and clutched a bouquet of crimson roses in my hand, feeling the thorns digging into my skin. I wanted to give them to the black-haired male, but I couldn't just walk up and hand them over; I had no intention of dying anytime soon.  
  
My feet carried me towards a small apartment complex as I looked at my watch again, making sure I had enough time to drop off the gift before he returned home. Time was quickly ticking away and I glanced over my shoulder before picking up my pace to the destination.  
  
As I arrived at the young male's apartment, I placed my hand against the cool wood of his front door, sighing. What was wrong with me? The only intention I had after meeting the male was to consume him, but now... Yes, I craved his scent, the taste of his flesh, and how he was such an original delicacy; a one of a kind, one-eyed ghoul. Now though, I wanted to be closer to him for different reasons, but they were so similar; to hold him close, the taste of his kiss, to hear him writhe and...  
  
I shook my head, chasing the thought away. A cough left my lips as I placed the flowers on the doormat, only to hear someone walking up the stairs, their shoes lightly hitting each individual step. Quickly, I hid out of sight, as I caught a glance of black hair and a single, dark gray, eye.  
  
Kaneki stopped, his keys already placed in the lock when he saw my gift resting on the ground. His posture became rigid as he recognized the symbol that had been all my own and surveyed the area before picking them up. I watched as he took in their scent, whispering softly to himself, “So sweet,” before walking inside the place he called home. A slight blush held his pale cheeks as he shut the door and all I could do was stare in awe.  
  
From the first time I had met the black-haired male, I knew that he had rarely had been on any dates; he became so excited when I invited him for coffee in a place that I typically used to lure people into a trap. I was almost sure that Rize was the only one who had seen that blush before and the sight caused my heart to race faster.  
  
Turning around, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, my head suddenly feeling dizzy.  
  
\---  
  
“Little Mouse, have you ever been in love?” I asked, looking over at Chie as she snapped a photograph of Kanae standing in the garden. The younger male stared over at the two of us as his hand ran through his violet purple locks, eyes narrowing at the conversation.  
  
The photographer looked over at me, a questioning look in her eyes before she said, “Once, but it didn't last. Apparently I seemed to look too young for his tastes,” she chuckled softly, “I suppose he wasn't worth my time though.”  
  
She snapped another photo as my servant approached us. “Master Shuu is in love?” He asked as I saw a foreign emotion flash through his eyes. He chewed at his lip, giving me a small smile. “Who happens to be the lucky lady?”  
  
I stared at the younger male for a long moment before saying, “I wouldn't say that it's love; just merely a fascination with another person. I-I can't really find the words to describe them and it slightly bothers me.” I plucked a flower from a nearby bush, taking in its scent before pulling the petals off one by one.  
  
Both pairs of eyes burned into me as I turned around, a slight smile on my face as Chie said softly, “Yep, it's totally love,” taking a picture as I shot her a look of annoyance. She laughed as Kanae took his leave without saying anything, just dropping a crumpled rose as he walked away.  
  
Picking it up off the ground, some of the petals fluttered at my feet as I glanced over to find the younger male nowhere in sight; all I happened to hear was the click of a camera shutter as Chie whispered, “Perfection,” beside me, a wide smile on her face as I shot her a look of annoyance.  
  
“Shush, Pet.”  
  
\---  
  
A week had passed since I had left the flowers on Kaneki's doorstep and I was debating on what to do next with my feelings for him. I was sitting at the coffee shop where I had brought him, staring at the cup in front of me. Tonight, I was expected to see to dinner at the restaurant and the young woman who I had chosen was running late. My finger traced over the outer edge of the ceramic, humming softly to myself when the bell hanging on the door rang and a pretty blonde walked in.  
  
I couldn't remember her name, but it didn't matter. What mattered though was her status in society and why she was going to make the perfect entree. It wasn't every day that you find a beautiful American girl who lived off of her father's money in Tokyo; especially one stupid enough to not think twice about going out with someone she didn't know very well, with it being blatant knowledge that ghouls are running about.  
  
Her pink lips were pulled into a small smile as she approached me, ordering a hot tea before taking a seat. I saw that were flushed crimson as if she was embarrassed because of her tardiness, but I simply waved it off, thinking about how exactly we planned on cooking her.  
  
As time passed, we talked to one another about life, our family's company's, how she was enjoying Tokyo, and then I asked her if she interested in accompanying me to a fine establishment for dinner. Of course, that blush painted her cheeks again and her response almost caused me to break out into hysterics:  
  
“Two dates in one day? I must be something special to you, Mr. Tsukiyama.”  
  
I felt sick as we walked out to the door, her hand holding mine as we made our way to my car, the final part of my trap to lead her to her untimely doom. Oh, how I was going to enjoy watching her run around, screaming with the other entrees of tonight's meal while Madam A's newest pet chased after them.  
  
She gushed about how polite I was before pulling me down an alley and pushing me into a wall, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss me. Her green eyes watched me carefully before she whispered into my ear, “Mr. Tsukiyama, can we just skip dinner and head back to my place?” Her perfectly manicured hand ran down the front of my pants, palming my slowly hardening erection. She was cute to only be a mere human, but to me, she was only dinner.  
  
I grabbed her wrist tightly, pulling her hand away from me before I revealed my kakugan, my iris turning crimson before the black surrounded it. She stared at me, terrified, before I whispered softly to her in a sickly sweet voice, “Keep your filthy hands off of me before I kill you. Now, nicely come out with me for dinner before I make you regret ever laying a hand on me.”  
  
Enforcing my grip on her skinny arm, she slowly nodded her head before I jerked her out of the alley, continuing towards our destination before I whispered to her, “ _Bien_.”  
  
\---  
  
I patted the blood that dripped down my lips with a napkin as Kanae stared at me. Ever since that day in the garden, we haven't spoke to each other much, but I could always tell that he had something whirring around in that mind of his.  
  
“Kanae?” I asked as he glanced up at me before replying, “Yes, Master Shuu?” My eyes found his dark orbs as I tried to find some answer to why he was acting this way around me.  
  
I shook my head, my search fruitless before I made an attempt to change the original direction of the conversation, “I've been trying to think of gifts to send to the person I was talking about the other day. Do you happen to have any suggestions that I can look into?”  
  
“Oh...” He said quietly, staring at the stained handkerchief in my hand before continuing, “Assuming that she's a ghoul, I'd say flowers, high-quality coffee, or perhaps maybe something nice to wear.”  
  
I chuckled softly, standing up and pushing in my chair as he joined me. He knotted his fingers together, a nervous habit of his, before I replied, “'Assuming that she's a ghoul', Kanae? You know how I don't care for humans unless the best are sitting on a plate in front of me.” He nodded his head in response as I continued, “Besides that, I already gave them roses, more than a whim than anything else, but they seemed to enjoy them.”  
  
Kaneki's blush flashed by my eyes once again as the younger male watched me carefully before mumbling, “Well, I always enjoy the thought of flowers, no matter how many times I receive them.” He looked down at his feet before saying in almost a whisper, “Maybe attaching a note would perhaps help?”  
  
My heart began to race in my chest at how perfect Kanae's idea was and I kissed him on the cheek and yelled, “ _Merci_ ,” before rushing off to find the most delicate, white rose in the entire garden.  
  
\---  
  
A few days after dropping off the second gift, a single flower, I received a letter from Yoshimura, asking me to stop by Anteiku when I could to discuss “personal matters.” I wasn't too sure what exactly he meant by those word, and had a slight fear of Touka-chan being there, but I came without much of a debate.  
  
As I stepped into the well known café, I saw a man and woman standing behind the counter, both looking up at me as I approached them cautiously. The woman stared at me with wary eyes before I held up my letter and said, “I was summoned.”  
  
She nodded her head before going upstairs, only to return a few moments later, watching me carefully before she said, “You can go on up. Just so you know, we can be there in a moment if something happens.” She held a low, threatening tone and I smirked, taking the door in my hand before walking up the steps.  
  
When I reached the top of the stairs, I found the old man standing at the end of the hallway, staring at me with a neutral expression. As I approached him, he said softly, “I'm glad you could take time out of your day to come here, Tsukiyama-san; especially after all that has happened in you life recently.”  
  
I nodded softly, having the feeling that he knew about what happened that night in the church and how I attempted to attack Kaneki. I almost took his words as a threat, but inside, I brushed it off as he gestured for me to step into the room, asking me if I would care for a cup of coffee. When I nodded in agreement, he left the room and I took a seat on the couch, my fingers running over the soft leather before I crossed my legs.  
  
As soon as he came back with the cup, I took it, taking a slow sip before asking, “So what is it that you needed to discuss with me?”  
  
He was silent for a moment as if he was thinking before saying, “I'll leave it up to him,” and stepped out of the room. Listening, I heard a soft mumble outside before the door was shut with a soft click as someone replaced him. I turned around only to see a single gray eye staring at me, the young man's hands hidden behind his back.  
  
“Kaneki-kun?” I asked, my eyes wide as he walked towards me, his pale face holding the slightest tint of red.  
  
He stared at me, studying my features before he said, “It's nice to see you, Tsukiyama-san.” He paced the room and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as I was in a state of shock. It wasn't the old man that wanted to see me; ironically, it was Kaneki himself.  
  
“I figured that it had been you sending the gifts after I received the last one. There's only one person that I know who happens to speak french and Japanese and he's sitting right in front of me. My only question is, was it true what your card said?” He asked, leaning on the arm of the couch across from me as I took another sip of my drink.  
  
I looked away, almost telling him that I had no idea what he was talking about, but stopped myself before I opened my mouth. All I could think about was the pros and cons of telling him the truth. The message attached to the white rose caused me to bit my lip and finally say, “It wasn't a lie. Truthfully, what I feel for you seems like love, Kaneki-kun, and I've been wanting to say that to you in person for a while now. I was afraid to approach you given the recent-”  
  
I was cut off as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me up on my feet before giving me a sloppy kiss on the mouth, my eyes wide as he blushed all the way up to his ears. I wanted to chuckle, but instead, I kissed him back, noting the delicate taste of human blood on his lips.  
  
As he pulled away from me, he handed me a single red rose with a note attached before looking at the floor and mumbling, “I hope this isn't the last time we meet, Tsukiyama-san.”  
  
Before I could even respond, he walked out of the room and I held the small card in my hand, staring at the thin characters that caused me to smirk before I lifted a single finger to my warm lips.  
  
“ _Tag you're it._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first time ever writing that one pairing that I have in Tokyo Ghoul so if it seems a little funny or Tsukiyama is completely out of character, it's because I didn't fully prepare myself before diving right into this one. Hopefully as I progress through the parts, it'll get a little bit better, but for now, please don't bash me for the awkwardness. ^^;
> 
> If you don't recognize Kanae or Chie, it's because they are a part of Tokyo Ghoul:re. As stated in the summary, this story is not spoiler free so if you haven't read :re, I would not recommend you read this story because some sections might be a little strange. Sorry, for the huge scary warning at the top; I don't like it sometimes when readers call me out because a character to them isn't canon, when in reality, they really are (trust me, this has happened to me before)
> 
> Also, I wanted to quickly explain the last line. So, as most know, when playing tag, a person chases you and if you are tagged, the other says, "Tag, you're it." My take on it with this is, is that Tsukiyama chased Kaneki and "tagged" him with the second gift, while Kaneki's kiss was his way of tagging him back. I promise it'll all make sense soon. 
> 
> Comment/Subscribe/Kudos/Enjoy!


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is really bad smut in the this chapter. It may be good to some of you, but I have no faith in it.

After rescuing Kaneki from Aogiri Tree, he wasn't the same. No longer was the the black-haired, innocent bookworm who blushed when I kissed him. Now, he was this white-haired individual who acted as if there was never anything between the two of us. This Kaneki was someone I thought I recognized when I offered to be his sword, but was proved wrong when he said that I'd be killed if I was deemed unnecessary.  
  
I leaned against the wall as he was talking to Hinami-chan. I couldn't help, but stare at him, questioning if he remembered how we were before or if he chose to ignore me for his well-being... or was it for mine? Biting my tongue, my phone rang and I lifted it to my ear, humming softly, “Pet, have you found anything?”  
  
I could hear the sound of traffic as Chie rang out, “ _I'm still looking; it's harder than you think to find the information that you've been asking for, Shuu. How are things with Kaneki-kun? Any progress?_ ”  
  
My eyes met the younger male's for a moment before saying, “ _Non_. I haven't gotten the chance to speak with him yet, but I'm working towards it slowly, Little Mouse.” I lost the gray orbs' gaze as I looked away, chewing at my lips as I could feel him continue to stare at me.  
  
The female on the other end of the line laughed, saying softly, “ _The great Tsukiyama Shuu is afraid to even try talking to the boy that he stalked for weeks before kissing him? You may think that he's different, but I'm sure that he's the same and you've just lost your mind. Talk to him, Tsukiyama; I'm sure you'll find more answers than you just standing there._ ” I was about to snap back a retort when she cut me off, hissing, “ _Shit, I've got to go before I get caught trespassing. We'll talk later._ ”  
  
“Little Mouse?” I asked, sighing as I slipping my phone back into my pocket, turning around to come face to face with the white-haired male. I gasped in shock as he stared at me before he questioning, “Has your informant found anything, Tsukiyama-san?”  
  
Biting my lip again, I shook my head, saying, “She's still searching, but she'll keep me up to date when she comes across something.” My hands shook slightly as I ran a hand through my blueish locks as if I had a stray hair that was flying free. He studied the gesture carefully before nodding his head and walking off without much of another word, almost as if he wasn't interested in me unless I had anything that could be of any help.  
  
I watched as he left, frustration running through my thoughts. It's been two weeks since he's returned and we've only spoke a few sentences to each other. I don't know how much longer I can take of this.  
  
\---  
  
Kanae stood next to me as I sat in the family garden. We hadn't said much to each other since I had returned home for a few days, but I was enjoying his company once again; it was nice to have a piece of my personal life next to me even though I had been working near people who I was close with lately.  
  
He stepped away from me for a few moments, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear before saying softly, “Excuse me for speaking out, Master Shuu, but you've been different lately; you've looked kind of lost.” He took in the spicy scent of one of the red carnations before turning back to look at me, worry in his eyes.  
  
I chuckled softly, tugging at the edge of my jacket before saying, “Kanae, I'm fine. There's no need to worry for me because Kaneki-kun has promised to protect all of us in the group.” Just speaking his name made me think of how he simply waved me off when I told him that I needed to go home and take care of some business; there was no goodbye, no small sigh of, “Be careful.”  
  
“Master Shuu, your eyes are telling a completely different story as you speak. I see anger and fear in your eyes and even though you tell me not to worry, I still will,” he said, approaching me with soft steps before asking, “May I sit next to you?”  
  
I moved over, thinking about his words as he pulled a coral petal off of one of the roses. He played with it for a moment, looking over at me and saying, “Did something happen with that person you loved?”  
  
With his words, I froze up, not able to look him in the eyes as the ever awkward, black-haired male filled my mind. All I could think about was that night at his apartment as the two of us drank coffee, him blushing all the way up to his ears as I kissed him, whispering soft words of french to him. That night was romantic,  _de toute beauté_ , and everything I could ask for and more; when I woke up the next morning, tangled in sheets, my arm wrapped around his waist, I could have almost swore that I was dreaming.  
  
“Master Shuu?” The younger male asked, watching me carefully, chewing at his lip before I looked at him and said, “I'm sorry. I was lost in my thoughts for a moment. Me and that person... we...” My fingers were knotted together as I looked down.  
  
He placed a delicate, flower-scented finger under my chin, lifting my head up to where I was looking at him. His dark orbs studied me, glancing down at my lips before meeting my eyes once again. He leaned closer before pressing his lips against mine for a moment as I stared at him, shocked. I didn't know how to react, how to respond; my servant, that I had known for years, was kissing me.  
  
As my shock faded and he began to pull away, I kissed him back, my fingers wrapping up in his hair as he whispered against my lips, “You can pretend that I'm them if you'd like.” I tugged the strands gently, Kanae moaning as I pulled him onto my lap.  
  
We were close,  _too close_ , and as I broke the kiss for only a moment, placing pecks upon his neck, my skin began to crawl. My lips slowly found his once again and I bit down on his lip as he gasped. The taste of blood filled my mouth and I knew that this was wrong; this wasn't Kaneki's flavor; this wasn't Kaneki and never would be.  
  
I pulled away, standing up before beginning to walk off, spitting out the taste on the concrete ground. My hands were clenched into tight fists as I began to head out of the garden, not hearing Kanae cry out, not seeing the tears run down his pale, porcelain cheeks.  
  
“M-Master Shuu, wait!”  
  
\---  
  
The next few days were long as I made sure to avoid my servant as much as possible. The longer the time drug on, the more I knew I needed closer to Kaneki, to have him look at me as he did before; when the third day hit, as soon as I could get out of the mansion, I did.  
  
When I arrived at the house where we made the home of our operations, I found Monsieur Banjou and Hinami-chan reading on the couch. The young girl was ecstatic, reading aloud the book that Kaneki has bough her a few days ago. The older male listened closely as she leaned over the novel, a small smile spreading across my lips as I watched the scene.  
  
I'm not sure how long I stood there, watching the pair, but after a while I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I turned around to find one gray eye and a black embroidered eye patch. Kaneki's lips were pulled in a tight line as Banjou's three followers wandered into the room, taking a seat on the floor to listen to the story. I just stared at the younger, white-haired male in front of me, wanting to reach out to touch him, but instead, he said, “I need to talk to you later, Tsukiyama-san.”  
  
He didn't specify when “later” was, but I had the feeling that our conversation was going to be far away from anything good. My eyes just continued to follow him as he walked over to take a seat next to Hinami-chan, helping her pronounce a word that she was having trouble reading.  
  
It was a cute scene, all of them sitting together, but I couldn't join them; all I could think about was the Kaneki that I knew behind closed doors, the one who had suddenly disappeared. I scoffed, grabbing the dinner that I had brought from home, deciding to isolate myself with the best of flavors before finding out what the younger male had in store for me.  
  
\---  
  
It was dark as I sat in the leather chair in the main room. A cup of coffee was in my hands as I flipped through a magazine, hearing someone walking into the room before Kaneki's scent wandered around me. I bit my lip, folding the page that I was on before saying, “What is it you needed to talk about, Ken?” I knew the other members of our group were dead asleep by now and more than likely would never hear a single word that this conversation would hold.  
  
“I'd prefer you not refer to my by my first name, Tsukiyama-san,” he said softly, standing on the other side of the room, finally in my sights. He looked slightly agitated as I mocked, “Well it's nice that you've finally acknowledged me. I was beginning to think that you're only using me for my connections.”  
  
I stood up, walking towards him as he watched me carefully before saying, “You know we need you for more than that.” My hands were balled up into fists, “Then was else? You don't look at me, speak to me; what about before? What happened to the one that I knew before?!”  
  
His eyes lost mine as he said, “Forget that, that time ever happened, Tsukiyama-san.” My frustration grew to a breaking point with those words and without even thinking, I shoved him against the wall, the collar of his shirt knotted in my fists as I yelled, “Says the one who returned my affections! You don't tell someone you love them and then blow them of. We fucking had something and you just want to say that there was nothing there?”  
  
He tried to push me off of him, but I remained before he yelled, “It's better this way!”  
  
The air grew deathly silent between the two of us as he stared at me, jaw clenched before I pushed him further against the wall before kissing him roughly. Kaneki was hesitant at first but it quickly changed as his arms wrapped around his neck, fingers tangling in my hair. I could tell that he had been holding back by the way he pulled at the bluish strands, the way his lips tasted on my own.  
  
I placed kisses down his neck, biting the fragile skin as he quickly undid my tie before dropping it onto the floor. Tugging at his shirt, he pulled it off, his arms wrapping around me once again. I picked him up, dropping him onto the couch before my lips attacked his, my tongue invading his mouth as he moaned. He popped open the buttons on my shirt, a few of them dropping down onto the couch as I fought his belt, trying to get it undone.  
  
As the piece of leather joined the other items on the floor, he bit my lip before his hands slipped up my back when I palmed him through the fabric of his pants. He gasped at the touch as I tasted blood on my tongue, glancing down at his lust-ridden face as crimson stained the corner of his lips.  
  
“I'm sorry; I couldn't resist,” he moaned as I sucked at my now split lip. A soft smile graced my lips before I whispered softly, “Ah, you'd like to play that game,  _mon amour_?”  
  
He blushed as I chuckled softly, slipping his pants and underwear down further, freeing his erection before sliding further down his body, placing soft pecks on his stomach before taking the hot organ into my mouth. His hands slammed over his lips as I sucked on the tip, knowing that, that was one of his weaknesses. Slowly, I pulled the last of his clothes off of him, placing two fingers up to the younger male's lips as I bobbed my head up and down slowly, teasing him.  
  
“ _Fuck_ , Shuu,” he gasped, taking the digits into his mouth, wetting them as I ran my tongue over the slit, taking my mouth away before he whimpered at the sudden loss of contact. My lips ran down the side of his member before circling his entrance with one of my fingers, slowly putting it in as I kissed the inside of his thigh before biting the pale flesh, leaving a bloody mark.  
  
He gave a small cry, fingers wrapping up in my hair as I moved my finger in and out of his body, purring “Eager, are we,  _chéri_?” He responded back with another moan as I pushed a second finger inside, reaching up to kiss his lips. His back arched up off the couch and he bit his lip to hold back another moan as I hit the spot inside him that he loved the most.  
  
I could feel his hands shaking as he undid the buttons of my pants, pumping my erection slowly as I sucked at his neck, leaving a bruise that would be noticeable later.  
  
Quickly, I withdrew my fingers from the younger male before lining up with his entrance and pushing myself inside his body. He moaned, his body clenching around me as I felt his nails bite into my back, leaving red lines across the skin. I placed my lips onto his, kissing him as I thrust inside before withdrawing and repeated the motion.  
  
“ _Ah_! There!” He cried out, his back arching once again as he pulled my hair. Even though he was different in appearance, he still had all the same sweet spots, pleasures, expressions; deep down, he was still the same innocent, black-haired Kaneki Ken who blushed up to his ears when he first kissed me.  
  
My hand was wrapped around his member, pumping him in time with my thrusts as I felt myself grow closer and closer to the edge. He placed gentle kisses on my collar bone before sucking on my shoulder, teeth nipping the skin.  
  
My breathing was erratic as I grunted, a warm feeling spreading in my gut as Kaneki moaned loudly, lips still on my shoulder just before spending onto our stomachs and my hand. He clawed his fingers down my back, crimson trickling down the skin just before he sunk his teeth deep into my shoulder as I came inside him.  
  
As I pulled out and laid beside the younger male, keeping his body close to me, I felt numb. The high of my orgasm made my head feel foggy and a small smile graced his lips, my blood staining his naked flesh. The sight caused my heart to race in my chest and I kissed him softly on the mouth, licking away the crimson drop on his cheek.  
  
“I love you, Ken,” I whispered softly, “and I hope that we can pick back up from where we left off before all of this mess happened.”  
  
He smile slowly faded as he mumbled, “How about we start over for the better? There's no way that we can completely go back to where we were before... Not after what happened to me.” Gray eyes burned into me as he placed another, shy kiss on my lips.  
  
As his words ran around in my mind and the feeling steadily came back to my legs, I slipped off of the couch, picking him up before carrying him towards the bathroom. His head rested on my shoulder and he whispered softly into my ear, “Tag, you're it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote smut. I have never wrote two scenes of smut so close to each other in my life (the other being from Deal With the Devil). My smut isn't all that great so sorry if it's not the best. Please don't throw me under the bus for it; I'm kind of self-conscious when it comes to writing that. 
> 
> Here we are with the small, mass amount of notes and meanings: 
> 
> I used flower language in this chapter when it came to Tsukiyama and Kanae in the garden. Red carnations mean "my heart aches for you," while coral roses mean desire. I thought that they'd only seem suitable due to Kanae's feelings for our main character. 
> 
> Also, there are a few words in french in this chapter. I do not study french; I use Google Translate. Sorry if they're wrong, but I got them to as close as possible as I could. 
> 
> "Non" means "No."  
> "De toute beauté" means "beautiful." Yes, there was a shorter phrase, but they didn't really seem to suit that particular sentence.  
> "Mon amour" means "my love."  
> "Chéri" means "darling." 
> 
> This chapter, the meaning of the line, "Tag, you're it," is Kaneki awaiting Tsukiyama's response to what he had to say. 
> 
> Sorry, long description, but there was a lot to explain.


	3. Part Three

I knew for a fact that something was wrong when Kaneki mentioned that he wanted to disband our little group; he had never mentioned anything about it to me and we rekindled our relationship quite some time ago. There was something about his eyes though, the way that the gray orbs watched the ground as he talked about returning to Antieku, it was almost as if he was homesick.  
  
I pulled my lip through my teeth as everyone agreed to join him, me approaching last as I asked, “Can I come a part of that close family?”  
  
Silver orbs met mine as he said, “Tsukiyama-san, I'm sorry. I can't trust you, as I expected.” My heart raced in my chest as it reminded me of what he said after I offered to be his sword before the group was formed. For a moment, I questioned whether or not he was being serious before he gave me a subtle wink, continuing, “But, I think that even if I have that sort of “ally” then it's okay. So, if you'd like, how about continuing to lend me that sword?”  
  
A small smile graced my lips as my heart continued to flutter rapidly. Ever since that night Kaneki and I admitted our feelings for each other once again, I always had this creeping fear that he was going to leave me. I didn't want him to go though; I didn't want to lost the one thing that I needed to cherish and hold dear to me. Instead, I knelled down in front of him, placing a hand over my heart and said, “ _Rubato_.”  
  
Kaneki's eyes left mine as a smile ghosted his lips, not saying a word as we all watched him carefully. I could tell that he was lost deep in thought and as the others began to wander off to do what they needed to, I approached the younger male, my hand brushing his when I muttered, “Do you really miss them that much?  
  
He nodded his head slowly before whispering, “Anteiku is like home to me. Everyone there... they were generous enough to help me when I became what I am. They taught me how to defend myself, how to act human even though I'm this strange half-ghoul. They accepted me even though I'm not entirely like them, Shuu.”  
  
He leaned against me for a moment as I intertwined our fingers, speaking softly, “Don't forget that they're also probably the reason we're together, Ken.” His given name was a whisper on my lips as he blushed, pecking my cheek.  
  
“Well then, let's go back together.”  
  
\---  
  
The younger male tossed and turned in his sleep as we spent the night at my family's mansion. Though he was fast asleep, he kept mumbling something about the CCG, centipedes, and asking someone to stop something. After a while, I propped myself up on my elbow, running my fingers through his soft, white locks before whispering, “It'll be okay, Kaneki. I'm here by your side, so you should be fine.”  
  
He rolled over, his back facing me as I glanced at the clock, noticing that it was a little bit past one in the morning and I hadn't been able to sleep at all for some reason.  
  
Slowly, I crawled out of the bed, glancing back at the younger male before walking out of the room. As I mindlessly wandered through the dark hallways, I eventually found myself in front of the door that lead out to the moonlit garden. I opened the door, my feet touching the cold stone as I began to head towards the heart of the lawn where my favorite roses bloomed.  
  
Someone was softly humming as my fingers ran through crimson petals and before I even knew it, I saw Kanae jump, staring at me with his dark-colored eyes.  
  
“M-Master Shuu, why are you out so late?” Kanae's eyes were wide as he spoke, a flower hidden somewhere inside his clenched fist. He looked scared, but at the same time, I hadn't spoken at all to him since the incident where we kissed; I had avoided him after Kaneki and I got back together.  
  
“I could ask the same of you, Kanae,” I said simply, losing his gaze in favor of staring at the flower in front of me. His eyes continued to burn into me as he muttered, “I haven't been able to sleep very well lately so I come here to the garden to think. How is Kaneki-san?”  
  
I ignored his question, jerking a rose from the bush and crumpling it up in my hand before meeting the younger male's eyes, asking, “It's because of me that you can't sleep, isn't it, Kanae?” He bit at his lip, walking towards me slowly as I noticed his pajama shirt was half unbuttoned, bandages covering most of his chest.  
  
“It's not something that you should worry about, Master-”  
  
“It is! Kanae, I shouldn't be the reason you can't sleep at night because I used you for a few moments for my personal needs. Just forget about that kiss!” I shouted and he slowly walked towards me, dropping a withered flower at my feet before leaning close to me.  
  
Delicate fingers stroked my cheek before he whispered, “I don't think you understand, Master Shuu. There was _always_ someone who wanted to get closer to you before Kaneki-san came around.” His lips pressed against mine gently for a moment before pulling away from me, mumbling, “And I'll always be here if he ever leaves you.”  
  
My eyes bore into him and as he walked away without glancing back, I lifted my fingers up to my lips, sighing. Kanae had found himself trapped in a case of unrequited love and the way he spoke to me almost seemed more like a threat than a confession.  
  
Shaking my head, I walked back to the room where my lover slept, knowing that trouble may be brewing very soon.  
  
\---  
  
“Anteiku is being shut down? Why?” I asked, patting my mouth with a napkin as I almost spit coffee out all over myself. A single silver orb stared at me for a moment before the younger male raised his cup to his lips, taking a slow sip. He looked up at me once again before saying in a low voice, “The CCG are in search of the Owl and I have reason to believe that they're targeting the shop. Don't ask how, but I just do. I warned Yomo and they're making preparations to make sure that Touka and Hinami-chan are safe, but as for the rest of us, we can choose to stay and fight, or go into hiding until everything clears up.”  
  
His eyes lost mine as he looked away, playing with the rim of his cup as fear struck me. “You don't plan on fighting, do you?” He glanced at me for a moment before focusing on the table.  
  
“You can't! Kaneki, it's not your battle to fight!” I raised my voice, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere and the one other customer glanced up from his book in annoyance.  
  
Kaneki reached across the table, grabbing one of my hands and giving it a tight squeeze before saying softly, “I haven't fully decided yet, but I just don't want to sit here while the people I'm close to might be out there getting killed. Shuu, before I met Rize, I was weak. Before Aogiri came and did what they did to me, I was still close to being weak. I have the power to do something now and I just don't want to waste that chance. I don't want to be weak anymore.”  
  
Tears pricked my eyes as I stared at him, my voice cracking as I said, “Kaneki, please, I can't stand to lose you. If I did, I'd rather die.”  
  
He chewed at his lip, squeezing my hand tighter before he said, “I won't make any promises, but for your sake, I'll think about it.” A soft smile graced his lips and I nodded my head, intertwining our fingers before kissing his knuckles as my fear continued to churn around in my gut as if I had ate something bad.  
  
\---  
  
 _“Mama! Papa!” I yelled, running across the garden, a butterfly clutched tightly in my hands. My parents sat on a nearby bench talking to one of the servants as Mother gave me a delicate smile. For some reason, her face almost seemed fuzzy as if she wasn't completely there.  
  
“What did you find, Shuu-kun?” She asked, voice wispy, as I slowly walked towards her, opening my hands the slightest bit to reveal the fragile creature fluttering its wings in an attempt to escape. It gave up after a moment as if it realized it couldn't get away and it crept out a tiny bit, revealing its bright blue wings.  
  
She held out a finger to me, saying, “Let's see if it'll crawl onto my hands. He doesn't seem to be that shy.” I nodded my head and she smiled, Father watching the both of us carefully. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, leaning closer as the insect slowly climbed up onto its new ledge, stretching its wings.  
  
Mother stared at it with her - _what color were they _– eyes, her smile growing wider as she opened her mouth to say something only for a violent cough to wrack her body. Blood dripped down her lips as the butterfly flew off in fear, Father and the servant getting up instantly as another coughing fit took over. They helped her up to her feet, both of her arms thrown over their shoulders as Father said softly, “I think that's enough for today,_ chéri _.”  
  
Her body shuddered once more and as they tried to pull her away, she stopped and said, “Shuu-kun, come see your Mama for a moment.” I walked over to her, her image becoming even more foggy to me as she said in a distorted voice, “One day, we'll go see the butterflies together, okay?”_  
  
I sat up in bed, heart racing in my chest as I tried to catch my breath; it had been forever since I had, had a nightmare about my mother. She had always been very sick when I was young, but that one memory was always the one that haunted me the most; it was the last memory I had of her because that night she passed away in her sleep.  
  
Running my fingers through my hair, I stood up, sliding on my slippers as I went to open the bedroom door only to find Kanae standing there, an envelope in hand. There was a solemn expression on his face as he handed it to me before saying, “The Commission of Counter Ghoul have completely shut down the 20th ward; they're attacking Anteiku.”  
  
My heart dropped as I ripped open the envelope, eyes scanning over the contents before I rushed into my room, pulling on my clothes quickly. Mind racing, I ran down the hall of the mansion yelling, “Someone prepare a vehicle for me! Hurry, I need to get to the 20th ward as fast as I possibly can!”  
  
\---  
  
I walked across the rooftop of a large building, my sanity slowly breaking as I heard my lover and Nishio-san talking to one another. My legs shook as I took slow steps, catching the end of the conversation as Kaneki said, “But, I think I'll trying doing my best by myself just one more time. I-”  
  
“I **won't** let you go,” I snapped, cutting him off, “If something were to happen to you, Kaneki-kun, what would I do?” My love for him, my fear of losing him, and the never-ending idea of consuming him ran rampant in my mind as I didn't meet his eyes. Was this was it was _really_ like to lose someone?  
  
“Tsukiyama...” The younger male said, his voice laced with concern as I continued, “Like this, you won't know for what reason I've been controlling myself, will you? How can I hand over my greatest, gourmet food?”  
  
Tears streamed down my face as my thoughts fought each other, the hunger standing out the most as he almost didn't seem to care what was on my mind. Did he not care about my feelings any longer? Did he possibly think he could go up against the CCG and survive?  
  
He stared at me, gray eyes showing no fear as he said, “I have taken the danger into account.”  
  
Something in me shattered as my kagune spiraled out in a blade, my feet carrying me towards him when I screamed, “In that case, please die here!” I swung at him and he easily dodged my blows as I cried out, “Can't you see how many there are?! Are you blind?! With the battle power you have there and even with the power of my personal connections and the strength of the Tsukiyama family, it'd still be of no use! What are you asking of me, Kaneki-kun? If you just think about it for a bit, you'll understand there's nothing that can be done! Kaneki Ken! I won't allow anyone to get in my way of eating Kaneki-kun; even if that person is you!”  
  
I could see the pain in his gray orbs as he shut his eyes, saying my name softly. My legs gave out and I collapsed as he revealed that one, ghoulish eye as I continued to cry in a soft, cracked voice, “The afterlife, Kaneki... Can you not go there?”  
  
He sat down beside me, running his fingers through my hair and whispering in a voice to where Nishio-san couldn't hear, “Was my letter not enough of a goodbye, Shuu? I didn't want to see you like this.” His tears dripped onto the concrete as his voice became hoarse, “I love you, but I made up my mind and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to leave you like this, but I swear I'll return. I'll come back.”  
  
He pressed his lips to mine for a moment as he gave me a sorrowful kiss before he stood up once more, “I'm sorry, Tsukiyama-san. Thank you for coming to stop me, but...” he hooked his mask around his neck before gripping it, “I don't want to be unable to do anything.”  
  
As he disappeared, heading towards the chaos below, I whispered, “I'll be waiting for your return, Ken. Tag, you're it.”  
  
 **...and that was the last time I saw the person I knew as Kaneki Ken...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I suppose that this chapter could be the ending, but it's not. As you know by now, there are parts of :re in this story so that why there's a final chapter to this whole piece. Also, there's gonna be a bit of a note on this since I'm really bad when it comes to symbolism and whatnot.
> 
> I cannot take full credit for the dialogue in section one and five. All the translation credit goes to www.twistedhelscans.com as I used their translations for chapter 121 (section one) and chapter 128 (section five). Also with the word "Rubato" one site translated it as "Just as you wish" while Twisted Hel translated it as "As you are." I am not too sure on it as I couldn't find anything while looking for it on my own.
> 
> Like last chapter also, I used flower language. Tsukiyama's red rose stands for love (since, you know, he's with Kaneki). On the other hand, Kanae's withered flowers stand for rejected love because of the events that have happened between him and Tsukiyama. There were also spoilers in that section which is why I didn't go into detail with the bandages.
> 
> I'm really bad with honorifics (I only have a basic idea of them) so please don't throw me under the bus because I used -san quite a bit when Kanae was referring to Kaneki and Tsukiyama when it came to Nishio.
> 
> Finally, I know as much about Tsukiyama's mother as anyone else does. What I wrote was made up, but since she died when our main character was young, I played it off like he couldn't remember many details about her. It has been stated though that Tsukiyama looks like his mother so... I'm not too sure on that one.
> 
> "Tag, you're it," in this chapter refers to Tsukiyama awaiting Kaneki's return to him and the ending just kind of leads up to the next chapter. The next chapter will seriously not be spoiler free so if you haven't read :re, I wouldn't recommend you continuing.
> 
> If this is the end for you, thank you for sticking around! 
> 
> Comment/Enjoy! 
> 
> Also, I won first place in the contest on Mibba!


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your tissues ready; you're going on a feel trip.

If you asked me three years ago where I'd be today, I would have told you happy and by Kaneki's side. That wasn't the case anymore though. The sick, cruel reality was that my love was dead and my mind had almost permanently fixated itself on the idea of consuming him.  
  
I never thought I would end up in my mother's place, bedridden, my body rejecting everything in front of me because it wasn't what I desired; she was the one that I had gained my fine tastes from. I knew it was my depression though. If Chie hadn't found me up on that rooftop the morning after Kaneki left, I wouldn't be here right now.  
  
I just wanted to be happy and in doing so, I was slowly killing myself.  
  
“...ster Shuu. Master Shuu,” Kanae's soft voice pulled me from my dreamless sleep, my body feeling feverish. The younger male woke me up periodically to see if I was okay or if I wanted anything to eat; most of the time, I rejected the offer though.  
  
I could hear another servant leave the room as Kanae sat on the bed beside me, running his fingers through my long, unkempt hair. The scent of roses clung to his skin and unconsciously, I leaned up to meet his touch. He had been the one person who was by my side constantly and I felt in his debt due to that.  
  
He hummed softly, pulling his hand away after a few moments, and I felt the heat of his body get closer to mine. His palm was placed over my lips as he kissed the back of his hand, whispering softly, “I doubt you remember what I said to you that night in the garden, but I remained faithful to my words. Kaneki-san is no longer here, but I am as long as you need me to be.”  
  
A gentle smile graced his lips as he leaned down to give me an actual kiss only to be stopped as someone knocked on the door. Kanae's dark eyes showed his annoyance as he stated, “Enter,” before standing to his feet, trying to hide the blush that had been ghosting his cheeks.  
  
A servant I didn't recognize stood at the door, bowing before saying, “I'm sorry to intrude, but Hori-san his here to speak with you, Kanae. She's waiting on the lawn.” The servant turned around, shutting the door behind him after the younger male huffed out a, “Thank you.”  
  
I coughed, Kanae looking back at me in concern before I waved him off with my hand. “Do tell Little Mouse that I said hello. I'm sure she doesn't want to see me like this after last time's events.”  
  
The younger male nodded his head, sighing before leaving the room and I laid back on the bed, shutting my eyes as I allowed exhaustion to take over my body.  
  
\---  
  
I was starving. My body was so hot that it felt as if my skin was peeling off. My throat was dry and as my father walked into the room, I quickly gestured for him to come closer, his eyes slowly growing wide behind his glasses. I knew it terrified him, me being like this, but he seemed to calm down a little bit as I whispered, “Please get Kanae to bring me a glass of wine.”  
  
I was hungry and I shut my eyes, my breathing growing ragged. I needed Kaneki here beside me and I needed to consume him whole. It was his fault I was like this. It was his fault that I couldn't leave my bed, that I was dying.  
  
“Fuck!” I shouted, my body gaining a short burst of energy as servants began to rush into the room, trying to figure out what was wrong with me.  
  
The purple-haired male rushed into the room, shouting, “Master Shuu!”  
  
My sanity was wavering as I sat on my knees on the bed, body shaking as I stuttered out, “M...My...” Kaneki stood in front of me before I felt something right under my arm, holding me up as I heard Kanae's voice yell, “Excuse me for using my kagune!”  
  
Kaneki was walking away as the servants tried to feed me while I screamed, white hair bobbing out of my sights, “Just who do you think I am? I'm the Gourmet! There's no way this filthy thing will please my tastes! Hurry up and bring the ultimate dish that will satisfy me!”  
  
Tears rolled down my face, my kagune spiraling out as I tried to reach out to my lover before piercing Kanae right in the stomach, causing him to cough up blood. Hands forced me back down onto the bed as food was forced into my mouth and I choked as my world slowly drew into darkness.  
  
\---  
  
Days had passed since the incident and even though I didn't remember it all that well, I knew that something had happened; I saw the blood, the tears on Kanae's face as he sobbed, and all the servants were gathered in my room; it was a dead giveaway to me.  
  
Today, I had enough energy to sit up in bed and was doing such, a book and a glass of wine sitting nearby. I leaned back against the headboard as I heard my door open and the purple-haired male walked into the room, a worried expression holding his features as he made his way towards me. There was an envelope with a metal clasp and marked with a giant “1” in his hands. I stared at it in curiosity before he said, “I found something for you to live for, Master Shuu.” He looked as if he was in pain as he handed me the package, gripping onto it for a moment before letting go.  
  
I glanced up at him before opening it to reveal a photograph of a male in his early twenties. He had white hair with black roots that matched his trench coat, the typical attire of the CCG's Doves. Tears began to roll down my face though as I caught sight of his eyes, the silvery orbs that showed no emotion as he held a neutral expression. This was Kaneki; the Kaneki that I had been made to believe that he was dead for over three years.  
  
Clear drops dripped off my chin and onto my robe as I glanced over at the younger male next to me before saying, “Kanae, tell me the details.”  
  
He looked away from me before asking, “You want to go see him, don't you?” His voice cracked halfway through his sentence and I stared at him before he spoke again, “If you eat, if you swear that you'll get better, then I promise to do everything in my power to get him back to you. I want to see you happy, Master Shuu; that's all I want.”  
  
I could see he was holding back his tears as I slowly nodded my head and said, “Yes, I promise, now please, tell me what you know. I want to see him as soon as I can.”  
  
Kanae sat down on the bed without asking for permission as he cupped my cheek, staring into my eyes before pressing his lips against mine. If this had been minutes before I saw the image, I might have kissed him back, but it wasn't. He pulled away, lips brushing mine as he whispered softly, “The person in that picture is no longer Kaneki Ken. His name is Sasaki Haise.”  
  
I stared at the dark eyes in front of me, confused as he pulled the picture from my hands, laying it face down on the bed. He climbed over onto my lap without me protesting as he wrapped his arms around my neck, my eyes studying his before I said, “You don't want to tell me the rest, do you?”  
  
He looked away from me once again, biting his lips as I almost growled in annoyance. I knew Kanae was in love with me and he knew the moment that I saw that Kaneki was alive once again, I was going to chase after him.  
  
Hooking my fingers under the younger male's chin, I questioned how long he knew my lover was still alive, but decided to play his game as I kissed him. It didn't take him long as I whispered softly, “I'll keep this up as long as you give me what I need, Kanae.” An annoyed tone held his name as he squeaked, my lips falling upon his once again with a little more force.  
  
As my lips moved down to his neck, he sighed, “Sasaki was the name given to Kaneki Ken who lost all of his memories by a certain ghoul investigator...” I popped open the first few buttons of his shirt, making my way to his shoulder as his breath hitched in his throat before he continued, “a-after he was fatally wounded.”  
  
My hand slid up the younger male's shirt as my fingers brushed against a thick set of bandages that covered his chest. Kanae tensed up as I moved back to his shoulders, not questioning why such a thing was there before he began once again in a shaky voice, “When I take you to see him however, please don't forget, although his appearance is the same, he's currently a ghoul investigator; the kind we ghouls hate the most.”  
  
He leaned his head against my shoulder as I bit into his flesh, a soft moan leaving his lips as he ground against me before regretfully pulling away in defeat. He had nothing more to share so these privileges were no longer valid; he had come to know that for a fact.  
  
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before I said, “Good. You've held up your end of the deal so I shall hold up mine. I want to see him as quickly as possible, so if you'd please, Kanae, find out where he would be.”  
  
The younger male nodded his head, buttoning up his shirt once against and fixing his hair before walking out of the room without much of another word.  
  
\---  
  
My servant pushed me in a wheelchair as we made our way to where Kaneki would be located. Though we would be outside one of the branches of the CCG, I didn't fail to make myself stand out by wearing one of my favorite suits.  
  
My heart was racing as we made our way towards the door and I caught sight of the contrasting hair, the younger male being followed by a group of kids. I forced myself up from the chair, my legs shaking as Kanae attempted to get me to calm down. “Master Shuu. You can't...! You can't go!”  
  
I didn't listen as my first thought was there was no way that Kaneki could forget me. The moment he would lay eyes on me, he'd remember our past and how happy we were, and he'd want to go back to that, he'd want to go back to being in absolute, perfect love.  
  
My feet carried me to the younger male with the grace of a baby deer. I collapsed right in front of him and the children that I presumed to be his squad as shock filled those beautiful gray eyes.  
  
“...ne...ki.”  
  
“I-Is everything alright? Can you stand up? I'll give you a shoulder,” he said, lifting me off of the ground, his warmth pressed against my cold body as I could hear one of the kids chattering in the background.  
  
Opening my mouth to speak to the white-black-haired male, I shut it, hearing Kanae say softly, “Excuse us.” Kaneki's heat left my side and tears fell down my cheeks as my servant placed me back in the my chair before wheeling me off, telling me how foolish I was to pull a stunt like I did.  
  
\---  
  
Ever since that day, I had begun to grow stronger. Finally, I was able to walk on my own without assistance and I had come to learn that one of the servants had been captured by the CCG while I was bedridden. Recently, an investigator by the name of Kijima had put a video online torturing our servant and asking us to come after him if we were brave enough.  
  
We weren't stupid; we knew that going after Yuma meant suicide, but I couldn't help but feel at fault. He had went on a hunting party with Matsume and Kanae for _me_. They went all because I was never satisfied with the food that was put in front of me unless I was forced to eat it.  
  
Knowing this information though, I knew it was me and only me that would be able to do anything about it.  
  
Kanae was serving me coffee as I sat out on the patio, contemplating on how to carry out a plan to get information from the CCG.  
  
“Master Shuu, earlier, what “plan” were you talking about exactly?” Kanae asked, setting the delicate cup in front of me as I took a sip, saying softly, “Kanae, keep this a secret from the others, but the key here is Kaneki. Right now, he's serving the CCG as Sasaki-san; that's the point. Wouldn't his position as an investigator give us an effective way to save him?”  
  
The younger male held the empty tray tight to his chest before questioning, “Would he listen to a ghoul like yourself though?” There was doubt in his tone and I glanced up at him in slight annoyance.  
  
“It's true that it might be difficult from a position like his, but it's no problem if it's Kaneki. As long as I bring back his memories, he's bound to cooperate with me,” I said, a smile crossing my lips as I got caught up in the past once again, “Kanae, when you told me he was safe, I couldn't believe my ears; even though he's missing his memories, even though he's caught by the CCG, even though he's forced to be a ghoul investigator, he's still alive!”  
  
Kanae stared down at me, a frown holding his lips as he sat down the tray as I spoke once one more, “ _Tout va bien_! I'll bring back Kaneki's memories by any means possible because there's no way he'd want to work as a ghoul investigator!”  
  
The younger male turned his back to me and I heard him take a deep breath before muttering, “I see.” His voice cracked as he spoke and I heard him quickly walking towards the mansion, wiping his face with his sleeve.  
  
My chest tightened at the sight and I wondered how much Kanae was giving up just to see me smile once again.  
  
\---  
  
Mine and Kaneki's next meeting ended up being at a park. I was nervous to approach the younger male in fear of him not recognizing me, but as I walked towards him, he glanced up and said, “Hello.”  
  
I took notice in how black his hair had recently become and how it reminded me of the days where we'd hide away in his apartment reading the vast amount of novels that he owned.  
  
Snapping out of my thoughts, I smiled and said, “Thank you for helping me the other time.” His gray eyes studied me as he replied, “It's good to see that you're not in a wheelchair today; you look less pale also.”  
  
My cheeks grew slightly red at his statement as we sat at a bench under a nearby tree, his trench coat and briefcase just mere inches away. Our conversation had grown silent for the moment before I said, “Do you like books?” It was a strange question to be asked by someone you barely knew, but I could only think of so much.  
  
He chuckled softly before saying, “Yeah, I do. I'm pretty much reading whenever I'm free because I'm scared of having nothing to do.”  
  
I smiled, having heard that line before as I glanced over at him and said, “To be honest, I also like books. I also have this uncanny ability to guess what kind of books people like.” I bit my tongue as the lie slipped through my lips as he said, “Wow, really?”  
  
“You like works by Takatsuki, correct?” I asked and his eyes lit up in amazement as if I could read his mind.  
  
“Yeah. I read some, but I'm kind of bad with them. Apart from her short stories, all the important main characters die in her works; it's a little heartbreaking,” he muttered, a frown finding his lips for a moment, “Behind the skilled expressions and sophisticated writing style, unidentifiable sorrow, anger, emptiness, and dark emotions show through. Maybe she's succumbed to despair and has no hope for anyone. I think that's why she wants to destroy everything.”  
  
I was at a loss for words as I stared at him before composing myself once more, “That's a unique point of view. This is the first time I've met someone who focuses so much on the author,” I twisted my fingers together, formulating another lie, “I'm sick, as you can see and I don't really have many friends who are my age. If you'd like to talk about books again some-”  
  
“Maman!” A short, chubby girl approached us as the younger male glanced over at me and said, grabbing his trench coat and briefcase, “I'm sorry. I have to go; take care of yourself.”  
  
I held my hand out as he walked away, terrified as a broken name left my lips, “Ka...” Glancing down, I gave up, feeling a hand being placed on my shoulder and I met my servant's eyes, “Kanae... What?”  
  
I stood up, heading back towards the car as I muttered, “The midgets are in the way. I can't be alone with Kaneki and I need time where I can talk to him without rushing.” It would take time for him to remember our past and how I needed him back with me.  
  
Kanae hummed softly in response and I glanced over at him before he whispered, “I'll make time for you, Master Shuu.”  
  
\---  
  
For days, I pondered how to return Kaneki's memories and somehow, I found myself on on the doorstep of a coffee shop by the name of :re. The atmosphere was quiet as I walked through the door as a girl I almost didn't recognize stood behind the counter welcoming me before stopping halfway.  
  
“Kirishima-chan? _Bon sior_ ,” I said, smiling with a bow as she stared at me with an expression of disgust.  
  
“Tsukiyama-san, so you're still alive?” Her tone held annoyance and I glanced around the empty shop, chuckling, “A coffee shop, huh? It suits you all a lot; Yoshimura's will, a second Anteiku, is that what this is?”  
  
Touka glared daggers at me as I knew I needed to get straight down to business, “You should know about Kaneki-kun, right?”  
  
Her eyes lost mine for a moment as she asked, “What do you mean?” The expression on her face held concern and I almost laughed out loud.  
  
“Don't play dumb. I'm talking about Sasaki-san. I know he came here before. Why didn't you tell me he was Kaneki-kun? Shouldn't we find his memories together?” Kaneki and I had never told anyone about our relationship, but I was sure that a few of them had assumed that there was something there.  
  
“Hey, you there. Can you stop pestering the manager please?” A voice from off to the side spoke and I glanced over to find a familiar face curled up on one of the chairs, a cup of coffee in hand before I said, “Oh my! Nishki, you're here too!”  
  
The male snorted, rolling his eyes, “You're still full of crazy talk, you know. You've gotten skinnier, but you're still the same on the inside. Even if he remembered is past, then what?”  
  
I didn't understand why they seemed so against bringing Kaneki's memories back; I knew Nishki saw us that night on the rooftop before my love disappeared. He sat with me until that morning as I cried and he was gone before Chie showed up to retrieve me because Father was worried.  
  
I glanced over at the male, fear slightly filling my gut as I spoke, “We should worry about that after we get his memories back.” I was trying to remain hopeful, but my words were shaky as Nishki glanced up from his coffee and said, ““After we get his memories back.” You've seen it, right? How his life is now?”  
  
My eyes looked between the male and Touka when I said, “Yes, indeed. I never thought he would become a ghoul investigator.” I leaned against the doorway, suddenly questioning why I even came to the café for help.  
  
“So you're saying that we should make him ditch his life right now and haul him back to our side?” Nishki's words cut into me like a knife as he narrowed his eyes at me. I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat as I said, confused, “That's correct, but you're putting a strange spin to it. I think that's what he wants.”  
  
The male opened his mouth once again, but Touka spoke first, sincerity in her voice, “Tsukiyama-san, do you really want him back in the ghoul world? To turn him back into a ghoul to only get killed by Doves?”  
  
My heart dropped with her words and I shut my eyes as tears welled up in them at the thought. I never wanted to hurt him. Why were they acting as if that was my only wish? “Kirishima-chan, you've got it wrong; I couldn't possibly...”  
  
“Indirectly, that's what you're saying,” Touka cut me off and something in me snapped as I shouted, “You think this emptiness can simply be filled?! He doesn't even know his own name anymore and he's struggling to live, yet you think it's worth nothing and we should just discard it? Are memories important? Are names important?”  
  
She stared at me with those violet eyes and I could tell that she felt the same for Kaneki as I did, “So you're saying even without those, he's still Kaneki? I think it's fine if he doesn't come back. It's better that way. If his memories return though and he has no one to depend on, then he can call this place home; that's why this place, :re, exists.” A frown crossed her lips as she placed her hands on her hips and growled, “Your ego is what's wanting him back, Tsukiyama-san.”  
  
I scoffed as my eyes bore into her. She had been jealous all this time and I knew for a fact that I was unwanted here. Yes, I had made horrid mistakes in the past and I had tried my best to make up for them, but Touka wouldn't forgive me; she never would because she could have been the one by Kaneki's side until his “death”.  
  
“Ego...? Egotistic suits me just fine,” I snapped at her, “Just keep being dandy like that if you feel like it! I'm going to bring his memories back for sure!”  
  
I left the shop without another word, slamming the door behind me as tears suddenly streamed down my cheeks. I wouldn't be able to bring his memories back on my own, would I? Would he even remember me like he did before?  
  
\---  
  
My shoes clicked against the concrete as I made my way to the park where I met Kaneki before. A week had went by since what happened at :re and Kanae had gone missing. The servants were desperately searching for the younger male as I was concerned with the fact that he may have been captured like Yuma was. Kanae wasn't likely to get caught though; he had already ran from the CCG when he was just a young child. He knew how to get away, how to watch his surroundings; that's one of the things that the Tsukiyama family taught him to do.  
  
Chewing at my lip, I walked up the stairs leading to the bench only to find the white-black-haired male waiting for me. He had surprised me last night by contacting me and asking if the two of us could meet.  
  
“ _Bonjour_. I'm sorry about before; I was bothering you while you were busy,” I said, his gray eyes boring into me. I could tell that he had something on his mind as he tugged at the sleeve of his black, formal shirt.  
  
“Don't worry,” he mumbled, orbs catching a glance at the crimson rose in the pocket on the front of my shirt, “I'm sorry about interrupting in the midst of our conversation. I thought I could meet you in private if I came here.”  
  
I stared at him and muttered, “Oh, that's unexpected.”  
  
My mind ran in a million different directions as I tried to figure out a way to bring up the conversation of our past, only for it to be shattered by his voice, “Today, I made sure to make time.”  
  
“Make time?”  
  
He stared at the ground while I tried to organize my thoughts before he spoke again, “Yes...” I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed before he asked me a question that made my blood run cold, “...Are you a ghoul?”  
  
Was he trying to investigate me? Was he trying to use me to get to the rest of my family and let the world know that we're made up of wealthy ghouls that own an entire empire?  
  
“Ah, um, I'm sorry to ask you out of the blue. You see, I'm a ghoul investigator and unnatural encounters have been following me one after another...” He knew he was asking a lot of me as his face burned bright red as he continued, “Let me rephrase that; do you know someone named Uta who owns a mask shop? Maybe Yotsume or Fueguchi? Do you?”  
  
He wanted me to out the people close to me? Especially Hinami-chan, who we both cared for? I was shocked, frozen, and I saw him bite his lip, crimson spotting the corner of his mouth.  
  
“I get it. Please don't answer that question yet. Let me ask you this though, are you someone who knew Kaneki?” He asked, desperation in his gray eyes and he took a step closer to me. I wanted to walk away. I was running a risk standing here and tears pricked the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill.  
  
“I've came here individually as Sasaki Haise, not First Class Investigator Sasaki. I have to face him now. I think I should know; it might be helpful...” he paused, eyes losing mine, “I don't think it's good if he disappears from inside my head.”  
  
I didn't want Kaneki to disappear. I wanted the black-haired boy back that never stopped blushing. I wanted the white-haired boy back that loved black coffee in the morning and rough sex at night. I needed Kaneki Ken back, not Sasaki Haise.  
  
“But you are...” I stuttered. Did he _want_ to remember? Did he want to know the bad things? It would bring back the good though... our memories... “No matter what changes, even if you have to abandon your previous life would... Would you mind at all?”  
  
His eyes grew wide and his face contorted with his sorrow as he choked on his sobs as he spoke, “No. “Ghoul” is what they called me... The ghouls I met called me the “Eyepatch Ghoul”. That mask used to be mine. “Eyepatch Ghoul” most likely was Kaneki Ken's nickname.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as I stared at him in shock.  
  
“I want to stay human even if I have a body like this, I don't want to accept the Kaneki Ken that they call a ghoul, an existence that ghouls were afraid of. I want life to go on like this forever, but somewhere deep inside, I know that's impossible. I-I have to remember eventually. That's not logic or emotions, but something more like fate. I-I have no other option but to remember,” he grabbed on to my hands tightly, terrified, “Please tell me if you know more about me. I want to know more by my own will.”  
  
He was broken, shattered, desperate. He wasn't the Kaneki Ken that promised to return to me, he was someone I barely knew. When Kaneki left, my heart was left in shambles and I wanted to die, but seeing him like this...  
  
I couldn't ruin the life he had now; that would be selfish of me, even though I still loved him and wanted him back.  
  
Pulling the rose from my pocket, I pressed the thorny stem into the palms of our hands, breaking the flesh before pulled away to cup his face. He stared up at me with those watery eyes and I kissed his lips as if I needed it to survive. I tasted the blood, the raw emotion as the two of us shed tears, this version of Kaneki not understanding why. His arms wrapped around my neck, the bloodied rose clutched tightly in his hand as I knew I needed to break away from him. I needed to get away before my feelings got hurt anymore.  
  
My heart stopped as I broke the kiss, our faces still close to each other as he stared at me, confused, not able to comprehend what was going on. He dropped one of his hands, intertwining my fingers with his before giving it a tight squeeze and I wanted to say something else, but couldn't find the words.  
  
Tears trailed down my cheeks as I finally willed myself away from him, turning my back and covering my face with my arm. Slowly, my feet began to carry me away and I stopped for only a moment when I heard his voice behind me.  
  
“Where are you going?”  
  
“I'm sorry. I no longer know Kaneki Ken, but tag, you're it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it; our finale. This is the first time I've finished a story in a long time and I just wanted to say, it's nice to do a short little story such as this one; it gives you a better hold and isn't drug out too far. 
> 
> I'll state this right now, most of this dialogue isn't mine. 8 out 10 parts of dialogue are from Imperial Scans's past translations of :re. Of course, not all of them follow the translations exactly, but besides that, they're still pretty close to the point. I also had to wing the honorifics. Like last time, please don't throw me under the bus for them. 
> 
> As for french to English translations:   
> "Tout va bien" means "Everything will be alright"  
> "Bon sior" means "Good evening"  
> "Bonjour" means "Hello"
> 
> I left the ending open for multiple reasons, but the main one was when I wanted to write this story, I sat down and planned all four parts beforehand. I had a basic idea of what I wanted to do with each one and I accomplished it. Another reason why I left the ending open was because when I began this chapter, the canon story itself hadn't progressed far from the actual part where this chapter ended. I also wanted you guys to use your own imagination if you've never read :re. Besides Tsukiyama's and Kaneki's (Kanae's, too) relationship, most of this stuff is canon. 
> 
> For the final, "Tag, you're it," Tsukiyama is stating that Sasaki is no longer mentally Kaneki, but he has the same body(heart) as the previous one. He tags Sasaki in hopes of him remembering the past one day.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking around with me on this lovely journey and I hope you've enjoyed this story! Please let me know what you thought about it and feel free to check out some of my other works if you're interested. 
> 
> This is me signing off on this one for the final time,   
> Comment/Kudos/Enjoy.   
> Kayla VI 
> 
> (Just so everyone knows, I cared for Kanae this whole time. I hate that he received the ending that he did. He only wanted to please his Master Shuu.)


End file.
